I love cigarettes. I love the smell when someone opens a fresh pack, I love it when I’m at a bar and the door opens and I can smell the smoke waft in from the smokers outside, and when I see someone smoking in their car, jamming to some sweet music, I’m green with envy.
Exhibit A: I look awesome, right???
I quit smoking on April 13, 2008. This was the day after the annual Flip Cup Tournament (which deserves a whole other post – and I know some authors could help out with that one). It was also two days after I went to a cancer benefit for my boyfriend’s friend from high school. Her name was Kelly. She had lung cancer. She never smoked a cigarette in her life. She died at age 27.
Before going to that benefit, I had zero desire to quit smoking. I really had no reason to. My boyfriend smoked, some of my friends smoked, I have a great little balcony at my condo and it’s main purpose is an outlet to smoke, and to be honest, I thought I looked cool. See exhibit A.
But after going to that benefit for Kelly, a person I didn’t even know, I realized that it just wasn’t worth it. I was watching this frail girl, who is my age, pretty much say good-bye to her friends and family. I watched as she and her fiance danced to a beautiful song, and when they danced, he held her up because she was too weak. I watched as her parents stood close by, trying to smile and hold back their tears. Needless to say, it was heartbreaking.
That night I told my boyfriend that I was quitting on Sunday, right after Flip Cup. That was it. Luckily he agreed to quit with me - I don’t think I would’ve been able to do it if he hadn’t.
So – I quit. Cold turkey. Well…. only had one slip-up in June while I was in Las Vegas for a bachelorette party. And since Las Vegas is technically Fantasyland, that slip-up doesn’t count.
But I still love the the smell when someone opens a fresh pack, I still love it when I’m at a bar and the door opens and I can smell the smoke waft in from the smokers outside, and when I see someone smoking in their car, jamming to some sweet music, I’m still green with envy. But I just won’t give in.
That is amazing, in a weird way I want to say how proud I am of you, like I’m your mom or something! I’ve never understood smoking, but love hearing about people quitting, seriously, good for you, keep it up kiddo!
I miss turning luckies.
But I’m proud of you lady! Just think, you’ll never have to stand outside, hovering around heat lamps in the Minnesota winter, again.
i totally know what you mean. i quit about two years ago (not counting the occasional drag here and there when i’m drunk), and my problem is not that i miss it but i know that i just shouldn’t, but i just frankly can’t get the cravings back. i know, i know, that sounds crazy–why would i *want* to have cravings for something that’s so bad? but i do. i miss everything about smoking–the taste, the smell, the 7 minutes of just standing there thinking about nothing, the excuse to take a break from reading/writing/working/etc., the unspoken bond between smokers…. i miss all of it. but now every time i have a cigarette it just gives me a headache, and even thinking about smoking gives me a headache. but if i could go back and stop myself from quitting, i probably would.