I love cigarettes.  I love the smell when someone opens a fresh pack, I love it when I’m at a bar and the door opens and I can smell the smoke waft in from the smokers outside, and when I see someone smoking in their car, jamming to some sweet music, I’m green with envy. 

I look awesome, right???

Exhibit A: I look awesome, right???

I quit smoking on April 13, 2008.  This was the day after the annual Flip Cup Tournament (which deserves a whole other post – and I know some authors could help out with that one).  It was also two days after I went to a cancer benefit for my boyfriend’s friend from high school.  Her name was Kelly.  She had lung cancer.  She never smoked a cigarette in her life.  She died at age 27. 

Before going to that benefit, I had zero desire to quit smoking.  I really had no reason to.  My boyfriend smoked, some of my friends smoked, I have a great little balcony at my condo and it’s main purpose is an outlet to smoke, and to be honest, I thought I looked cool.  See exhibit A. 

But after going to that benefit for Kelly, a person I didn’t even know, I realized that it just wasn’t worth it.  I was watching this frail girl, who is my age, pretty much say good-bye to her friends and family.  I watched as she and her fiance danced to a beautiful song, and when they danced, he held her up because she was too weak.  I watched as her parents stood close by, trying to smile and hold back their tears.  Needless to say, it was heartbreaking. 

That night I told my boyfriend that I was quitting on Sunday, right after Flip Cup.  That was it.  Luckily he agreed to quit with me – I don’t think I would’ve been able to do it if he hadn’t. 

So – I quit.  Cold turkey.  Well…. only had one slip-up in June while I was in Las Vegas for a bachelorette party.  And since Las Vegas is technically Fantasyland, that slip-up doesn’t count. 

But I still love the the smell when someone opens a fresh pack, I still love it when I’m at a bar and the door opens and I can smell the smoke waft in from the smokers outside, and when I see someone smoking in their car, jamming to some sweet music, I’m still green with envy.  But I just won’t give in.

Advertisements

3 responses »

  1. Kirsey says:

    That is amazing, in a weird way I want to say how proud I am of you, like I’m your mom or something! I’ve never understood smoking, but love hearing about people quitting, seriously, good for you, keep it up kiddo!

  2. leDeb says:

    I miss turning luckies.

    But I’m proud of you lady! Just think, you’ll never have to stand outside, hovering around heat lamps in the Minnesota winter, again.

  3. renée says:

    i totally know what you mean. i quit about two years ago (not counting the occasional drag here and there when i’m drunk), and my problem is not that i miss it but i know that i just shouldn’t, but i just frankly can’t get the cravings back. i know, i know, that sounds crazy–why would i *want* to have cravings for something that’s so bad? but i do. i miss everything about smoking–the taste, the smell, the 7 minutes of just standing there thinking about nothing, the excuse to take a break from reading/writing/working/etc., the unspoken bond between smokers…. i miss all of it. but now every time i have a cigarette it just gives me a headache, and even thinking about smoking gives me a headache. but if i could go back and stop myself from quitting, i probably would.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s